There is a slightly manic state of productivity that only a mom with a napping child can truly understand. My dining room table is covered in paper scraps as I have been collaging together last minute valentines cards to go with some rice krispy treats I made. To make rice krispy treats here, I perused multiple stores for the rice krispies and ended up ordering them on uber eats, and found marshmallows at the danish dollar store extravaganza flying tiger. Even with all the ingredients, there isn’t that same american chemical deliciousness of jet puffed marshmallows. I digress.
Last week, my 91 year old grandmother who we had visited only 2 weeks ago in London passed away. Although she was taken out of a lot of pain, she will be sorely missed. My grandma was born during the Japanese occupation in Korea, and following the Korean war moved to the US with only a suitcase to her name. She and my grandfather married there and lived the bulk of their lives in St Louis, before moving to Houston to be nearer to my family. In 2020, they took a trip to visit my aunt in London without knowing that, due to their health, they wouldn’t ever be returning. My grandma spoke 3 languages, has lived in 4 different countries, and faced hardships that most people of our generation will never understand. She had a contagious laugh, and known to most as Gaga, could make friends with any stranger. Most notably, my cousins, brother and I took my grandma to Korea in October of 2019. She was our translator and full time entertainer. I’ve never laughed so hard. It was shocking seeing the places she used to live through her eyes, that were untouched 70 years ago, but now are covered by hotels and city developments. We are so grateful for the time we had with her and she will be sorely missed by her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Since last Friday’s news, the week has held nothing of note. Namely because I’ve refrained from worrying about rushing to fill our days. I find that one or two days with pre-planned rendez-vous’ are about all Charlotte and I can handle getting out the door for. With that being said, I have been in a total creative rut. Longing to create with my hands, but feeling like all my small projects are falling flat. The sun has come out after a very rainy weekend but I find that I’m just a bit stuck in the mid-winter blues.
We’ve also been conquering the 4 month sleep regression with Charlotte-another reason I have been hesitant to take on too many planned outings. We seem to have gotten back into a rhythm, but for a few nights the tv wouldn’t go loud enough to drown out the sound of her crying to sleep.
I am so grateful for this space because the weekly writing is cathartic for me. I find myself trapped in my thoughts as I’m scrubbing toilets, folding laundry for the billionth time, or attacking any of the more mundane tasks my days consist of. Especially following the loss of a family member, I feel a bit homesick for in-person connection with my family and old friends that feel like family. And writing this to all of you helps me feel a little more connected in this great big world.
As for tonight, we’ve got a date with some carbonara and natural wine at home, a board game if sleeping baby cooperates, and some date caramels I made in the food processor yesterday.
I’m not feeling like anything is jumping out at me right now as a habit or trend I’m loving, so this week I thought I’d share some screenshots/clips on my camera roll that have made me smile.
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Something about reading your posts always feel like catching up over a cup of tea with an old friend 🤎 I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma—she sounds wonderful. Carbonara and natural wine night sounds like the perfect v-day evening.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother - but happy that she was able to meet Charlotte before she died!
You are doing a great job as a mom - it is evident in how you write and the happiness of your beautiful baby!